“Rediscovering My Calling”
I was saved during a short-term study abroad in Canada and returned home about two years ago. God spoke to me this year in January, and since April I’m going to seminary while working full time.
Even though I sought God’s guidance before applying to seminary, studying while also working was far more difficult than I imagined. I would lose track of time and my walk before the Lord began to wane. Meanwhile, I began having doubts about whether or not I was hasty in going to seminary, about whether or not I mistook the desires God gave me, and about the future. I was very troubled, and I came to the GRC meeting place, imploring God that if that calling was really of Him, please speak to me again here at GRC.
God answered my prayer during the general meeting at night on the second day.
The desire I got from God before going to seminary was like this.
The Gospel of Luke depicts Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. When He saw Jerusalem, Jesus wept and lamented. Afterwards, He cleansed the temple. The “temple” mentioned here is the human heart. When I read this passage, Jesus entered my wreck of a heart that was devastated by sin and hurt. He began teaching me and rebuilt my heart. Because of this, I wanted to help God rebuild and heal the hearts of the broken.
During the message on the second night, there was a slideshow with before-and-after pictures of ruined church buildings that were abandoned during construction. The instant I saw the pictures, I immediately felt like God was visually showing me what He previously showed me in the Gospel of Luke. I got goosebumps and started crying. God spoke to me directly, as if saying “this is what I want you to do.” That day, Rev. Shibusawa’s message was about how God’s word doesn’t fade. That day, I was fully convinced that the calling and desire I received from God to heal and rebuild others with His unfading word was not a mistake.
Everyone, not just non-believers, has in their hearts rooms that are ruined, rooms that are decaying, and rooms that are closed shut. I regained the desire to do the work of fixing the broken rooms of broken people through the truth of God’s word.
Also, even though I still have such crumbled rooms inside me, through the fellowship during the small group time, I was able to take the first step in surrendering to God the places inside me that I wanted to give up to God. Through this, I felt God’s love and was greatly blessed through the small group.
I still don’t know exactly what kind of ministry I can do in the future, but I pray that I will never forget the calling that God showed me here at GRC.